Reintegration

Every time I do yoga now I cry. Not through the whole class, mind you. I cry right at the end, when the entire class sings OM. It comes at the end of class when everyone is exhausted, and is sung with such an open heart, so giving and pure and tired and beautiful, that I cry. Its sort of embarrassing, but I don't care. I am grateful to have experienced such beauty.

Its the things like this that get me now. Out of nowhere, I will feel this intense emotion welling up inside me and I am all of a sudden crying again for Haiti. And wishing I could do more from here. It often happens when I realize the beauty in something. Like riding my bike home from a night shift and watching the sun rise over the mountains. Or sometimes it just takes me by surprise, for no apparent reason.

I keep thinking about the children and the youth of Haiti. All the children who now have no family, no home, no school. The leaders of Haiti's tomorrow will be united by the event that rocked the country. And they will have a tough time getting to a good spot, because life has dealt them a wicked blow. Their identity will be shaped as earthquake survivors. Their education system is shattered. How can we help these kids to feel love and security again? Its such a complex issue I don't even know where to start. I don't have any answers either.

Many of our translators in Haiti were nursing and medical students. Their schools had collapsed and their educations ground to a halt on January 12. Many of them were trying to figure out how to get to the US or Canada to continue their educations. I felt powerless as I thought of the bureaucratic red tape they would have to deal with just to complete their educations. Its amazing how one isolated event can crush your dreams. I mean, these are bright, educated young people who can help Haiti rebuild, and yet of course they are in the same boat as everyone else; starting from scratch.

Its so hard to stand by and watch.

Its so hard to come home and think about it.

Its so hard to notice that the media has slowed its coverage, and that NGOs have started pulling out, and that the world seems to have stopped putting its attention into Haiti.

In this new world of mine I feel different. I feel like Haiti has changed my life, but maybe this is what everyone says after coming back from a similar experience. I know for sure that my priorities are different now. I also know that Haiti has carved itself out a little room in my heart, and that I will be dedicated to that country for awhile. Its a good thing I'm going back so soon.

The work there is continuing as we speak. On Friday, J/P HRO relocated 7,000 people from the camp. The rains have been increasing. The official start of the hurricane season is June; time is precious at this point. I feel the need to help, whatever it takes. And so I have swapped more shifts and bought myself another plane ticket down for May. Stay tuned....

And please please please don't forget about Haiti. If I achieve nothing else, I want people to think more about that country. And send them all the love,hope, and support you can find; they need it.

Thank you all,
Guin xo


Donations to help me cover my flight: email transfer to guineveredorward at gmail dot com or mail cheques to five five six nine culloden street, vancouver bc, V five W three R nine, canada. A million thank yous for all your generosity!